When you see someone you love being sad and depressed, you would often feel the urge to step in and cheer them up right away.
Before you do so, however, it is often useful to check if your motivation is to A) heal his/her pain or to B) end the dreary scene in front of you.
If you’re coming from a place of A), then all is good. Your intentions will help you support your partner. No matter what you do, your partner will be able to feel your intentions and to be encouraged by them.
But what if you have the second motivation? That is, you want to cheer your partner up simply because you just want the moping to end?
This rarely ends well, because it is for your benefit, not your partner’s benefit.
Taking a pause here to reflect on your motivations might help you identify why you feel this way. Perhaps you are also going through a difficult time, and need some self care. There is nothing wrong with looking after yourself first. Only when you are in a good place, will you have enough energy to lift others up.